Carmichael's Position

Oof! Yeah... Don't Want to be "That Guy"

Watching the Holiday Bowl tonight on ESPN between Arizona State and Texas.  I'm not really for or against either team, I just want to watch some College Football before the long dearth begins in January.

I just watched an amazing turn of events that will plague a young guy for some time to come.  Knowing Texas Fans, despite this really being only a game for "Pride" this year, no first or second place being on the line and all... if Texas goes on to blow their 21 point lead at the time of the incident and loses this game... well ol' Chris (What's His Last Name) will be infamous in University of Texas lore. 

In the first half, Texas was on top of AZ State 21 to squat!  But State was pressing into the "Red Zone" and looking like they might get 7.  When on a third down and 11 The Sun Devil's QB faded back into a rapidly desintigrating pocket!  Being pursued and grabbed by a Texas Defence the QB tried to throw the ball away.  Unfortunately for him the resulting pass was not forward but turned out to be a latteral and in reality a fumble!  LIVE BALL on the ground!!!

The escaping pigskin was rapidly headed toward the Texas Sideline, which would have resulted in Arizona State retaining the football albeit with a resulting 4th down and very long.  This is where things took a turn for the sublime.  An individual standing on the Texas Sideline, looking like he thought the bounding ball was the result of an incomplete pass, and thus "Dead" went to pick the dadblame thing up!  It is claimed that he touched it... but I ain't too sure, personally I think he might have retracted his hands prior to contacting yon wayward ball.  Anyway the ball somehow stayed in the field of play and was recovered by the Longhorns.  First and Ten headed the other way!!!   Or "Not so fast..." according to the official Zebra herd.

After reviewing the play a number of times the lead zebra stated that the ball was indeed interfered with by the Texas Sideline.  Dead Ball, and possession stays w/ the Sun Devils, with an additional "Half the Distance" to the goal line awarded.

Well... OK...

Except, ESPN continued to keep the cameras focused on the poor guy who went to pick the ball up... Good 'ol Chris!  Yeah Chris just got his 15 minutes of fame, as undesired as it may be.  You can tell the dude feels terrible, his innocent efforts did indeed change an outcome of a play... The outcome of the game??? Cannot be determined, it will be what it will be.  But Arizona State did get 7 in the turn of events.

Chris is young, and what is worse so are his friends, and many Texas Football fans never grow past the playground, so yeah Chris can expect that he will definitely make the Sports Pages of tomorrow papers, if not the Front Page in Austin!  Don't fret Chris, this will only be a "Defining" moment if you let it.  You define you... not ESPN. 

Well... maybe not ... but it sure sounded good.  My suggestion, play it up! Get a spot on Letterman, or Best Damn Sports Show on their Greatest Dumbass Plays of the year special.  Get rich... and get the chicks!  I recommend looking in Tempe for the latter...

Christmas at the Carmichael's

Heheh... Sounds a little odd but thanks to October 6th this year, Ginger and I combined (and of course her name change) now makes us the "Carmichaels"...

Cool...

We're here in Colorado this year enjoying this festive occasion with some very close friends.  Unfortunately family is spread all around the nation this day.  But they are certainly with us in spirit.

This Christmas day is just beginning, the promise of a "WHITE CHRISTMAS" has already been delivered... boy has it been delivered!  Here's a taste... What was forecast for 1-2" of light snow is now 7-9" and still snowing!

We're fortunate enough to be the ones hosting the dinner this year in our new house, so I do not have to experience the white knuckle adventures of the roads today.

We certainly wish you all could enjoy the holiday with us too... There is always an open invite!  And as cold as it is outside today... inside is quite warm and toasty.  Here's what Christmas looks like this year at Casa De Carmichael.

 

And of course... Your lovely Hostess... And my Beautiful Bride, Ginger...

      MERRY CHRISTMAS!

May all of your Christmas dreams come true...  And a special thanks to all of the Men and Women in Uniform who cannot be here with us this day, please know you are all in our hearts, and prayers!  We certainly hope you are all finding ways to bring a little Christmas cheer to wherever you are...  Knowing our Military, I'm sure it is being achieved... God Bless!

Achmed The Dead Terrorist Sings "Jingle Bombs"

Jeff Dunham, the world renown ventriloquist has a new Dummy... no it's not Hillary... nor George either... or Dick Cheney... Nope, adding to Jeff's other famous Dummies Peanut, Jose' Jalapeno... on a sitck, and Walter, and now appearing with Jeff's hand up his ass...ociated back is "Achmed the Dead Terrorist" (is there any better kind?).

Achmed takes this holiday to offer up his rendition of "Jingle Bombs"...

Merry Christmas...

BEER... The Cause and Cure to All My Problems!... Or Maybe More Cure Now!!!!

Hat Tip to Tommy on this one... from BBC News awhile ago but bears repeating.

Guinness good for you - official

The old advertising slogan "Guinness is Good for You" may be true after all, according to researchers...

...A pint of the black stuff a day may work as well as an aspirin to prevent heart clots that raise the risk of heart attacks.

Drinking lager does not yield the same benefits, experts from University of Wisconsin told a conference in the US.

...The Wisconsin team tested the health-giving properties of stout against lager by giving it to dogs who had narrowed arteries similar to those in heart disease.

They found that those given the Guinness had reduced clotting activity in their blood, but not those given lager.

I know a few dogs that would have loved to sign up for that test! 

...They believe that "antioxidant compounds" in the Guinness, similar to those found in certain fruits and vegetables, are responsible for the health benefits because they slow down the deposit of harmful cholesterol on the artery walls.

So... Even less reason to have any guilt about drinking a Pint of "Motor Oil" at your friendly neighborhood pub!  And I know a few others who will... Stu?... Lex?... Tommy?

I'm Thinking What?... Maybe 100 miles per Rosie?

From the Daily Mail...

Eco-boat powered by human fat attempts round the world speed record...

The fastest eco boat on the planet will attempt to break the round the world speed record using fuel made from human fat...

...Earthrace is fuelled on 100 per cent biodiesel and has a net zero carbon footprint.

...Pete Bethune, the New Zealand skipper of Earthrace, said the attempt to circumnavigate the globe would begin from Valencia in Spain on March 1 next year

...Demonstrating further commitment to the cause, Bethune underwent liposuction and donated enough to produce 100ml of biofuel, while two other, larger volunteers also had the procedure, making a total of 10 litres of human fat.

This in turn produced seven litres of biofuel, which could help the boat travel about 15km.

Earthrace is fuelled on 100 per cent [sic, or brit] biodiesel and has a net zero carbon footprint.

Now this is a very cool way to go "Green!"  And I'm all for using the byproduct of McDonald's + xBox to provide the fuel.  Now if only we could create a "Mr. Fusion" type of converter to extract the fat from the appropriate subjects.

I'm thinking between Rosie and Michael Moore, we could easily eliminate our dependence on Foreign Oil.  At least for a year or two. That is until we liposuck'd 'em down to Calista Flockhart size! (Had to end on a good note... save the retinas and all that...)

Well... That was FUN!

Or maybe not so much...

I am finally holed up in a warm comfy hotel room in the lovely town of Waterbury CT after spending almost my entire day on the freeways of Massachusetts and Connecticut... well 8 hours! anyway! (I say almost, because the first 3.5 hours of my morning were spent finalizing plans for my company's next coolest release for our customers...)

You:  "Wow John you must have traveled from one end of one state to the other..."

Me:  "Nope,... went 94 miles..."

You:  "huh?"

Me:  Allow me to illustrate...

Today after completing a software improvement  project with our developer, I needed to traverse some 140 miles from Marlborough MA to Danbury CT.  I didn't make it...

After 8 hours on my butt, no food, and one very impromptu pit stop on the not so side of the freeway, I had had enough...  Ya see, there was this Snow Storm I drove right smack into...  weird actually went from East Coast gray overcast, to... well...  A curtain of SNOW... A lot of SNOW!  In very short order! Some 9 inches in 4 hours! Here's a taste:

At 11:45 I took a photo as I was approaching the toll booth at the end of I-90 transitioning onto I-84, it had literally just begun no more than 2 minutes earlier.

This next shot was 12 minutes later:

26 minutes later...

2 hours and 11.3 miles later... seriously...

Then a few hours after sitting parked, well not really parked... every couple of minutes or so we advanced a car length or two... sometimes only a Mini Cooper length or two, I decided that my back teeth had been floating LONG ENOUGH!  And without a Gatorade bottle to spare, decided to mark some Connecticut territory and melt some ice right there on the freeway.  After all, we weren't going anywhere anytime soon.  No one blamed me!  And through the rest of my winter wonderland odyssey, I observed that I was not the only one who's bladder could be leased out as a Workout Ball!  Seven.... count 'em Seven others applied de-icing to I-84 in the course of the next hour or two.  Nope, don't know how you ladies do it!

This next photo I took looking back behind me... it was quite eerie in that I was actually the LAST person in the traffic line on the freeway... I had just cleared an icy hill that many semi's had jack-knifed on, and where many others' velocity vector was not pointing the same direction as their headlights!Somehow I finagled my way through... never once hitting the brakes or in reality nudging the gas more than the amount it would take to advance yourself in the drive-through window at McDonalds!  Oh... Did I happen to mention my Hertz rental car for this week's festivities was non other than an '07 Mustang!  Gotta just love rear wheel drive... with lotsa torque... in SNOW!  Anyway back to the pic...   after pulling up to the all too familiar eternal line of cars on the I-84 parking lot, it was some 5 minutes before I realized that I was LAST IN LINE!  I mean no one was behind me for over a 1/4 a mile (that was as far as I could see!)  That can't be good!

It was at that time... or in the next 20 minutes that I sat parked there... I made the decision to cut my trip shorter (distance-wise... it was already 6 hours longer) than planned, call the nearest Marriott and see if they had a room for yon weary traveler.

They did!  Now if my 1/4 tank of gas holds out for another 20 miles (and maybe 3 hours!)

Miracle!  About 10 more minutes passed and we the intrepid, began once again our snow laden mosey.  We cleared through another "Charlie Foxtrot" of Semi's and "See Dumbass!!! Four Wheel drive does not make you 'Captain Invincible's!" ("Captain Imbeciles" maybe...) and the plowed road lay presented before us... now mind you 20 miles per hour may not seem like much to you all sitting back reading this in Sunny San Diego... but let me tell you it was good to get the wind blow'n through my hair again... did I mention that my windshield wipers froze up on me?  So my head was out said window a couple of times knocking the frozen crap of the ol' vinyl "flick-fluncks" (can't really call then windshield wipers at that there particular moment) with the extended ice scraper/broom so thoughtfully supplied by Hertz!  Good people those Hertz guys... except for the ol' Mustang thing in the first BIG ASS Winter Storm of the season!  At least it wasn't a convertible!  Small blessings doncha know.

Alas I arrived at my recently altered hotel... and you know... the winter scene out my 6th floor, quite warm, Internet, and TV equipped room takes on a whole new peace about it once spectate'n  instead of participate'n...

Peace on Earth to all of you... I'm just happy having a little peace here in Waterbury Connecticut.

Sleep well... I know I will...

Wish I'd Thought of This Back When....

Pretty self explanatory...  when a picture is worth 2000 words...

• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack th..."

 

I've Gotta Git Me One of These!

A genuine Hillary Nut Cracker!

 

That's gotta be right up there with the Ted Kennedy combination "Life Vest- Martini Shaker", and the "Dan Quale Speak and Spelle!"

Y'all are welcomed to add it to your "John Carmichael Christmas List" here's the link http://hillarynutcracker.com/completelynuts.html .