Carmichael's Position

But I Do My Best Work In There!

I've be told before, that I do my best work sittn' on the porcelain throne!  I'm pretty sure those who offered that opinion did not mean it as a complement.  But in reality I think many would be surprised how many "Innovative Ideas" were arrived at as a result of a few minutes of semi-uninterrupted "Private Time".

So I had to laugh today upon hearing about a Plaque Brad Feld, the Primary VC at my former company NewsGator, paid to have installed at a Bathroom in one of the University of Colorado's new buildings.

Brad contributed $25,000 to have the honor of a restroom in the University of Colorado Alliance for Technology, Learning and Society, (ATLAS) building named after him.  The Plaque reads:

"The best ideas often come at inconvenient times. Don't ever close your mind to them."

I like that... Brad continues to do things that, usually when we are drinking with our buddies, many of us simply talk about doing .  Action! 

Investor buys naming rights to University of Colorado restroom

BOULDER, Colo.—Venture capitalist Brad Feld hopes that using the men's room named in his honor will be an inspirational experience.

... Feld, managing director at Foundry Group and Mobius Venture Capital, both based in Boulder, said he wanted a plaque "to inspire people as they walk in to do their business."

Some of his best ideas have come while he's on the toilet or in the shower, he said. "It's a good time to reflect. It's a quiet moment."

That last sentence is debatable in certain circumstances, but otherwise...

I tell you... All the more reason to find a idea or invention that you can take to market to become EXTREMELY WEALTHY!!!  So you can do these types of things.  I'm just not sure which breeds which? Does money breed eccentricity or the other way around?

Time for me to think this through a bit... pass the prunes!

I KNEW IT!!!!!.... I Just Knew It!

They are NOT Exempt!!!!

Myth Busters to the rescue again!

HT: Grouchy Old Cripple (a site worth the daily visit!  Not just for the "Saturday Boobage"... of course that doesn't hurt none neither now does it!)

Would this be an "Apple iPoo'd" ?

Sorry Bored...  Oh and what ever you do... DON'T CLICK THIS LINK!

Achmed The Dead Terrorist Sings "Jingle Bombs"

Jeff Dunham, the world renown ventriloquist has a new Dummy... no it's not Hillary... nor George either... or Dick Cheney... Nope, adding to Jeff's other famous Dummies Peanut, Jose' Jalapeno... on a sitck, and Walter, and now appearing with Jeff's hand up his ass...ociated back is "Achmed the Dead Terrorist" (is there any better kind?).

Achmed takes this holiday to offer up his rendition of "Jingle Bombs"...

Merry Christmas...

Wish I'd Thought of This Back When....

Pretty self explanatory...  when a picture is worth 2000 words...

• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack the school in snow..."
• "I will not pack th..."

 

I've Gotta Git Me One of These!

A genuine Hillary Nut Cracker!

 

That's gotta be right up there with the Ted Kennedy combination "Life Vest- Martini Shaker", and the "Dan Quale Speak and Spelle!"

Y'all are welcomed to add it to your "John Carmichael Christmas List" here's the link http://hillarynutcracker.com/completelynuts.html .

Yep... I Remember '94

"24" if it were filmed in '94! [Video Link]

That's nothing... Try reading Red Storm Rising now...  and to think, DVD was still 2 years away!

Uh.... What the..... Marketeering Gone Nutty?

This is what happens when you let "Marketing" run "Product Development!"

I Don't Care What Party You're Affiliated With... This is Funny!

HT to Jerah for the following:

Video Link for the above: [Link]

And for those of you un-initiated on the "Chocolate Rain" reference Obama makes in the spoof above... I provide the following... holding your dogs ears is highly recommended!

[Chocolate Rain Vid Link]

Happy Halloween!

Shamelessly Stolen from the Oft entertaining "Grouchy Old Cripple"

To Ensure Your Banana Will Be Protected!

This is a real product!  But, Oh God! was I having troubles reading through my tear filled, laughing eyes!

These are just two pages from their website!  

Oh the places you can go!  And now you can take your banana with you!  In Colorful Style!  It's ventilated! 

And most importantly from their FAQ...

Q: "Not all bananas are the same size or shape, so how can the Banana Guard fit them all?"

A: The Banana Guard was specially designed to accommodate the majority of banana sizes. Our testing indicates that over 90% of commercially available bananas will fit into the Banana Guard. Highly curved bananas can be straightened ever-so-slightly without harm to fit the Banana Guard shape. The opposite holds true of very straight bananas.

I'm thinking "VERY STRAIGHT BANANAS" might enjoy getting slightly bent and put in a box....

Just say'n..... 

Seriously!... Everyone who is owned by a cat goes through this!

This is an EVERY morning ritual! [LINK TO VIDEO]

The culprits at Casa De Carmichael are Pudge (pictured left) and her 22lb brother Scrunch (right)... AKA the "Cats Darwin Forgot" coined by my buddy Ken!

Oh sure... they look so innocent now!

This is Not Nice!... FUNNY! ... But Not Nice!

While on my all to brief honeymoon a couple of weeks ago (God has it been that long ago?) Ginger and I swung into the Las Vegas Hilton to try our luck at the games there.  Amazingly enough we did very well, I at Black Jack and Ginger at a particularly generous "One Armed Bandit" and at a "3 Card Poker" game.  I think combined, we came out that day $700.00 or $800.00 better than we started.  Certainly not bad for Vegas!

What struck me as funny was.. before we left to head back to our roost at Caesars, a potty break was in order.  After all, sitting at a Black Jack table for a few hours will draw the attentions of the ever-present, scantily clad (and properly boosted) cocktail waitress bearing gifts of fine "Adult Beverage."  -- Um... numerous times!

After cashing Ginger's and my chips in, we headed off to our respective facilities.  As I walked up to my selected urinal I have to admit, I was taken aback somewhat at being... well.... WATCHED!  If not Ogled!... By NUMEROUS!!!! Hot Babes!!!! 

Nope I'm not in the wrong bathroom... It appears that the Hilton has a bit of a sense of humor and wishes to challenge their male patrons in a question of Stage Fright!  Here's what one has to contend with!  My Buddy Stu wouldn't stand a chance!!!

 

  Makes me wonder what was in the "Sit Down" stalls?

That about sums it up!

WHAT DO DEER THINK...?

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being
interviewed by a French journalist and animal rights activist. The
discussion came around to deer hunting.

The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of
a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it, 'Are you
the one who killed my brother?'"

Nugent replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they
care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next,
and can I run fast enough to get away? They are very much like the French."

The interview ended at that point.

USS Normandy practices for a Clinton-Obama Admin

The USS Normandy in an overabundance of "Preparing for the Worst" begins "Less than Lethal Force" drills in the Indian Ocean (Not Native American Ocean!). 

The US Navy posted a Training Ops Memo about a week ago mandating that all Surface Combatants begin planning and training operations in preparation for a Clinton-Obama win in November of '08.  Noting that it takes time to transition "Well trained fighting men and women with the best WarFighting Equipment on the Seas... into United Nations Wait Staff and catering service"  Also recommends, that all efforts must be made to modify the US Navy's current focus on Dominating the Battle Space to now offering to "Clean the Windshield with fill-up!" 

Real story here:  [link] however, your captions are welcomed!  Add in the "Comments" section below.

Creativity Around the Office

Working at NewsGator, I am surrounded by creative people... Being in a Web 2.0 Software company will promote that type of person.

However, I have to say that I was caught off guard by one of our employees' creativity in the break room.  You see we're one of those cool companies that provides free fattening agents  snacks for our folks.  These nutritional goodies include M&M's (peanut doncha know!) Bowls of Snickers bars, Red Vines, Pop-tarts etc... you know good wholesome food to help creative minds bloom!

Well a few months back one of our employees came up with a brilliant idea to have dispensers replace the "free-for-all" bowls.  You know the bowls, the ones where no-one uses the "provided spoon" for scooping the contents into their "I have no idea where those have been... ahhh chooooo!.... hands!"  The cool new dispensers are kind of a "No charge" gumball machine.  Place your hand under the dispenser, twist the knob, and voila', goodies in hand!  Looks like this:

Great Idea!  We've got a bank of these things dispensing all manner of goodies:

 

Like Assorted nuts... Chex mix... The aforementioned M&M's...  And of course

  Cheese and Crackers... or if you're lucky Peanut Butter and Crackers!

Aaaahhh NewsGator... breaking the daily monotony with a sledge hammer!

God luv'em!

I Bet our Boots on the Ground in Iraq Sure Wish there were more Terrorists using Volkswagens in Their Quest to Meet 27 Virgins (or however many are left up there)

Hehehe...  Unfortunately because of our squeamish PC - cushy armchair and a Latte' on demand...  "oooh we certainly don't want to offend the sensibilities of fanatic Islamics"-  society... we'd never see this on our local cable broadcast of American Idol (is that an oxymoron today?). 

But what a great Advertisement for VW!  Enjoy! [link]  HT-Steve H. for this one!

Bucky is a Genius

I was rolling on the floor laughing my ass off after reading this!!!!  (HT to Grouchy Old Cripple for this one).  Reminded me of "The Greatest Movie Line Ever!"

Hehehe... I'm sure all 8 of my Liberal Friends (who read Carmichael's Position because their blood pressure levels are obviously WAY to low!) will find this offensive...  And I did take their feelings into consideration prior to clicking the "Publish" button...  Yep!  DON'T CARE!... Especially after the deplorable and highly unprofessional behavior of YOUR! Elected representatives on the Hill this week!

Maybe I like this one because Bucky Reminds me so much of my cat "Scrunch" and I'd like to think he too thinks this way.

Jesus in the Cupboard? -- Don't be too sure...

9News Denver is reporting this afternoon of a:

 "Manchester, Connecticut couple... convinced they have a very special piece of woodwork in their kitchen... Malynda and Eric Smith say they noticed last Friday that one of the cabinet doors has an image of Jesus Christ in it.

Malynda says "my daughter came and said mom look it's God.. and I looked.. and there it was a picture of Jesus Christ. Then my son noticed it and my husband came in and noticed it. I just can't believe we hadn't noticed it before."

And they say it may be hard to believe, but everyone who looks at it sees the image.

After studying the image... and running it through Photoshop a number of super-scientific-spectra-analytical tools... I'm not so sure.  After adjusting for ambient light and various "stupidity-variables" I managed to isolate the image... and adjusting for "misplaced faith"... found the following...  The New Messiah?  Oh I hope not!

Whole new meaning to the phrase "Sea of Humanity"

A co-worker of mine sent this to me in an e-mail (how pedestrian...that's sooo 90's!).  But wow!  I lived in Japan so I can relate to the different perspective of "Personal Space" but this is amazing!  The story as reported on CScout-Japan is:

"...not just any pool, but a wave pool! It was broken until 3:00, and when they announced it was starting again, the following craziness happened. If you get motion sickness easily, please do not watch this video."

How'd you like to be a life guard having to keep an eye on that? 

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

The Sexiest Woman Alive?  The Breck Girl?   Well... maybe best dooo!  Seriously... no Photoshop involved! Actual cover...

Well maybe the sexiest Democrat Woman...  When compared to...

Just Say'n...  Maybe some accuracy after all in the MSM!

Hmmm.... Who Says Inspecting the Troops isn't Fun!

HT to Tommy today for this light hearted look at England's Royal Inspection!

Like I said to Tommy, "Hmm... Brings a whole new meaning to 'Inspecting the Troops! doesn't it?"

Keep it clean commenters!!!! Don't make me turn monitoring back on!

Dennis Miller -vs- Harry Reid!

HT to Chic[k] Pilot...

Great take from Dennis on the position (bent over) that Harry Reid the, oxymoronically named Senate Majority "Leader?" takes relating to US Foreign Policy our enemy's best interests.  

The great thing about Dennis is that he is pretty much the Anti-Bush when it comes to his eloquence and vocabulary.  Nice to see someone in the media with the ability to form contextual analogy into accurate assessments of the clownfest we call the US Senate!

Why Men Use Post-It Notes

From a co-worker of mine today.  A much needed laugh on a Friday.

Agenda Set for the 2008 Democratic National Convention

Tongue firmly ensconced in cheek...

Howard Dean was here in Denver yesterday discussing how he was going to overcome Union strife with the upcoming 2008 DNC convention.  It appears he also succeeded in finalizing the agenda as well:

 

> Subject: NEWS RELEASE
>
> Just Released- Agenda for the Democratic National Convention for 2008:
>
> 7:00 P.M.    Opening flag burning.
> 7:15 P.M.    Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
> 7:30 P.M.    Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
> 7:35 P.M.    Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jessie Jackson and Al
> Sharpton.
> 8:00 P.M.    Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
> 8:05 P.M.    Ceremonial tree hugging.
> 8:15 P.M.    Gay Wedding-- Barney Frank Presiding.
> 8:30 P.M.    Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
> 8:35 P.M.    Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan-- Susan Sarandon.
> 9:00 P.M.    Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender-- French
> President Jacques Chirac
> 9:15 P.M.    Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
> 9:20 P.M.    Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund
> 9:30 P.M     Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo
> Bay - Sean Penn
> 9:40 P.M.    Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson
> Clinton
> 9:45 P.M.    Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
> 9:50 P.M.    Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by
> Michael Moore
> 9:55 P.M.    Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
> 10:00 P.M.  How Bush and Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center
> Towers-- Howard Dean
> 10:30 P.M.  Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahmadinejad
> 11:00 P.M.  Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
> 11:05 P.M.  Al Gore reinvents Internet
> 11:15 P.M.  Our Troops are War criminals-- John Kerry
> 11:30 P.M.  Coronation of Mrs. Rodham Clinton
> 12:00 A.M.  Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
> 12:05 A.M.  Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home


Sent to me this morning by one of my more "Democrat" friends (yes I have a few of those...) I'm sure the RNC version of the above is not far behind...

Remember... No matter how bad you think your life is...

Someone has it worse than you do...

Subject: The One Armed Man

And we think we have it so bad..
 
A man who lost one of his arms in an accident became very depressed because he had loved to play the guitar and do a lot of things that took two arms.

One day, he decided to end his life. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw a man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.
 
He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again.
 
He asked him, "Why are you so happy anyway?"
 
The man said, "I'm NOT happy ....my ass itches!!"

Yep... Count your blessings... assuming you still have fingers and toes.

A Friday Laugh... Provided Courtesy of Your United States Marine Corps!

Ran across this today, courtesy of  Steve Ambrose over at the Woodshed who welcomely pointed his readers to the resulting "Belly Laugh!"  I can't thank Steve, and subsequently "Taco" Bell, over at Sandgram, enough for this much needed laugh today.

A little tidbit to pique your curiosity:

"...Not knowing better, I pushed another set of buttons which resulted in a strange motor noise from somewhere in the back of the toilet seat. Not sure what that was, I peer between my legs and noticed a little white rod directly in the center of the space under my hinny..." [More]--

Seriously Click It and Read it! You will not be sorry!